Pamper Me Time

Hello blog, it’s been a while and I’m here for my monthly update again. On the very last day of this month nonetheless.

The previous two weeks have been really trying and challenging for me as the kids were both sick. Gosh, it was just so bad some nights that I just wanna bang my head on the wall or something. I was super over it, cursing under my breath a gazillion times and wondering if anyone would want to take the crying baby away from me. I also felt like I was the worst mother on earth because my babies were sick and here I am feeling all sorry for myself, getting all angst up because they were clingy and wanted ONLY ME as their source of comfort.

Sometimes I feel like I’m going all “Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde” ‘cos I’m super short-tempered when it comes to waking up to feed at night. But come morning, I’ll feel super guilty and shower my baby with lots of love and kisses and affection.

Sigh.

Well, the good thing is, the kids are well now. After all those crazy hospital and clinic runs by myself with the kids, numerous hand-washing, cuddles, kisses and whatnot, they’re finally well now. I can finally take a breather and treat myself to some special “me-time”!

I was gifted a voucher for a floating session with Beyond Rest by friends about two and a half years ago during Naomi’s full moon party. 2.5 years ago and I just never found the time or the opportunity to be able to squeeze in an hour of a pamper session for myself. And so, I finally decided to do it before I start heading back to work next week. I was so lucky that they decided to honour the gift card still after such a long time, hahahaha!

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I walked in being greeted by a very calming and “zen” atmosphere. Loved it! I was quite tensed that day to be honest as it was Dylan’s first full day at daycare and so I couldn’t help but worry about him all day!

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This was my float pod! It’s super cool and looks ultra-modern/alien-ish.

I started the float not being able to fully relax myself but eventually with time, I did. I think I might have fallen asleep too ‘cos my mind just went blank for a period of time.

It definitely felt as if I spent less than 60 minutes in there. I wouldn’t mind it if I could spend a little extra time in there but just not this time – I was rushing off to pick up my babies instead!

I am really glad that I actually went for this float session. I finally had some time for myself. And for that one hour, I didn’t have to be someone’s mum or someone’s wife. I just had to be ME.

Being a mum and wife is part of my identity, just as I’m a daughter and sister. They’re all a part of me. But they don’t define who I am wholly. Before I was a mother and a wife, I was just myself. I had my own hobbies and interests too. And sometimes I just feel like I’ve lost touch with those things for far too long.

And this one hour has somehow connected me with myself for a bit that day.

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30+3

Oh dear, have I just turned another year older again? 😅

Had a really simple celebration at home this year with my humble little family. ☺️ Mr S cooked dinner for us – his staple dish, chicken & mushroom risotto. It was so, so, so, so good.

We also had a birthday cake this year!!! And Mr S handmade the cute bunting cake topper for the cake 😍 It was a sponge cake with durian flesh & cream and it was simply delicious!

Birthday cake

TADA!!!!!

With my babies

Felt so, so happy having the chance to hold each of my babies in my arms while Mr S and Naomi sang me the birthday song 😚

Most of all, I want to thank my mum, for giving birth to me this day, 30+3  years ago!!! The amount of pain she must have had to endure in order to give birth to me. And all the love, sweat and pain to raise me as a child to who I am today. All these, I will never, ever be able to repay her. Thank you, Ma!

Now, what wise words do I have for myself this year?

Live healthier.

I have recently developed this unhealthy craving for sugar ever since I started drinking sweet drinks during dinner. T_T I’d like to gradually get rid of this habit.

Also, I haven’t been exercising for way too long. I went back to badminton twice and would LOVE to be able to do this more often. I’m hoping the kids would be sleeping better at night so I could go back to my weekly or fortnightly badminton sessions.

I’d also like to cook more home-cooked meals ‘cos A) it saves money and B) it’s healthier!

Be more patient.

I feel guilty each time I lose my shit with the kids and with Mr S.

With Mr S, I used to hold grudges whenever we argued and sometimes I’d still be mad at him the very next day. But now that I’m no longer a silly, irrational young adult anymore, it’s time I grow up and finally learn to “forgive and forget”.

With the kids, needless to say, they’re just children. They’re still learning what’s right and what’s wrong. I, the adult here, should have MORE patience, so I can teach them about patience. It’s okay for them to make mistakes and rile me up (that’s what kids do to their parents anyway). So, I’d like to remind myself to be more patient and gentle with them.

Find time for myself.

It’s so important to get in touch with myself. Having stayed at home for the past 3 years plus (excluding the brief time I went back to work) because I was either busy being pregnant or breastfeeding or taking care of a toddler, I hardly have time for myself anymore. But I’d like to see a change in that now that Dylan’s gradually learning to become more independent.

I’ve started doing some gardening once again. YASSSS!!! I’ve neglected my plants for way too long and it’s time to pay them some much needed attention. I’d love to slowly put together pots and bowls of beautiful succulents bit by bit. And I want to get a calamansi lime tree for our backyard!

Declutter & organize.

I have to get on with my decluttering tasks. I need to find time to get rid of clothes I no longer wear or hardly wear by either donating them or binning the ones that are too worn out. I do this every now and then but haven’t done so in a while now.

I wanna start organizing things better too, be it in the bedroom, bathroom or kitchen. Our place is quite small so having things lying around really makes the place look cluttered and messy.

Less screen time on the phone.

Pretty self-explanatory ‘cos too much time on the phone takes me away from time spent with my family, myself, and actually getting things done.

Last but not least,

Sleep when I can.

My body and mind need rests. So I can function better when I’m awake and alert.

So off I go now.

Goodnight!

X

I’m Spent

Today is one of those days where I feel completely exhausted, drained out, sucked dry and utterly under-appreciated.

I want to scream. I want to cry. But I can’t; the tears won’t flow. And the angst in me doesn’t subside.

A big hug may do wonders to my tired soul right now. But it’s been a while since I’ve been held for that extra assurance.

Deep breath, Jess. A mother is strong.

I have been. I think. I’ve tried hard. Up until now. I just want to curl up in bed and let the tears flow now. In silence.

Only 1.5 More Months to Go?!

SERIOUSLY?! Where has the time gone?

But honestly, at this stage now, I kinda can’t wait to pop my second baby out now, lol! Things are really starting to get a little tougher these days. I tend to wake up at 4am for a pee and then have difficulty falling back to sleep for an hour or so almost every night. 😵

And I’m so sick of having to lie down on my left side to sleep now. Most of the time, I just go, “AHHHH, I don’t give a sh*t anymore. Imma just lie down on my right for five minutes!!!” Then end up falling asleep for wayyyy longer than that, hahahahaha! I’m sorry 小 bump no. 2!!! 😢

I just need to work for another four more weeks then I’m off again! Wheeeeee!!!!! Mum and sis will be here end of next month to visit and help out again! Can’t wait for them to be back!! The house is definitely merrier with them around, hehehehehehe… Plus I love it when Naomi spends time with popo and yiyi. It’s so heartwarming to see how much they love her 😍😘

🎵 Can’t wait to see you againnnnnnnn…… 🎶

Definitely wearing that romper way too much hahahaha!! It was gifted to me by my sister and they’re super duper comfy!

Note to self: About time I fix the misaligned photo in the photo frame! 😝

Another one with the cheeky girl!

She’s been learning soooo much these days — especially from daycare. And I’m so pleased for her that she’s finally settled down in daycare now. The carers praised her for adapting and doing so well!  I’m more relieved now as I know that she’s being cared for, her needs taken care of when I’m at work (earning more money 💵 to buy her formula 🍼, hahahahahahaha) and that she’s happy and thriving. 🙂

She’s finally learned how to walk after she started daycare. Perhaps she wanted to catch up with the other kids who are already walking hahahaha! And now she’s learning to talk!! Man, when she says ‘nose’, it’s with an Aussie accent!! 🙄

It’s such a bittersweet feeling to watch her grow and witness her every milestone and progress. As a parent, you’re happy that your child is growing to be healthy and happy. But at the same time, you feel like with their new gained confidence and independence, they’ll depend on you less and less. 😢

Last but not least, a selfie to end the post (as usual, HAHA!) *Snicker* So sorry to do this but this filter does make me look so much more refreshed than I really am in real life. In real life, I just look like a tired, old hag because I really AM tired almost ALL the time. 😴

Quick question for you guys!! I’m thinking of cutting my hair to a lob again some time before baby is due. The longer hair will keep me warm in winter though! BUT BUT BUT, with the confinement thingy going on, I won’t be able to wash my hair for quite a while so I can foresee that it’s gonna be quite gross!! 😱😰

What do you think? Lob or no lob? 🤔

Emo Much?

Oh hello!! It’s almost May already! Since when?!

I’m feeling quite good tonight… ‘cos I get to sit down and have some quiet “me-time”. It’s been a while since I last played some songs on my iTunes. The only songs I listen to when I’m in the car nowadays are Beethoven’s classical songs for babies, lol!!

This feels kinda weird but I’m feeling slightly emotional tonight. SO MUCH has happened in the last few months and although I’m sort of into a routine now, I still feel overwhelmed every now and then. Some days seem really long. And some, I just breeze through them like a champ!

I don’t know how to say this. There’s so much I wish to share. But my mind is blank when it comes to writing them down.

I guess the point of this post tonight is to acknowledge my very own presence. I feel like I’ve disappeared for quite a bit while the responsible Jess takes over my body and do what I have to do every day. Right now, before the baby cries for me, I am the carefree, careless Jess.

And before this post turns even more emotional, let’s not go there and let me share a happy photo with y’all! 😀

Caversham with Naomi

Taken last month at Caversham Wildlife Park with my baby 💋

Goodbyes…

…are never easy. 😥

Mum and sis headed back home to Miri early this morning after spending three whole months in Perth here with us. I guess I didn’t mentally prepare myself enough for this day because it just felt so sh*tty after they left – leaving me with a void in my heart.

Spending the last three months together every single day was simply bliss. And I guess the happier you are together, the sadder you are when you’re apart. But, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We’ve had one of the BEST times together this time around, I’d say. Despite the stupid argument that we had, Ma (I’m sorry!).

And I just feel so, so, so lucky and blessed to have you guys as my family. This is what love is all about. I experience it everyday with you guys around and I see it in your eyes when you look at Naomi too. Nini, you are like a second mum to Naomi and I hope that this will never change. 🙂 (Well, you are her Godmother after all, hahaha!)

Missing you guys badly! Take care! Until we meet again… X

Goodbye 2015

It’s that time of the year again! Bidding the last day of the year goodbye and welcoming a new year at the stroke of midnight. And what a mighty fine year it has been for me, haha!

First of all, I was dedicated to a fitness regime myself earlier this year due to myself letting go after the wedding last year haha! It was more than wanting to look great, as I wanted to train my will and determination. I’m glad that I kept to it until I could no longer partake in any intensive exercise routines anymore when I found out I was pregnant.

I also took part in my very first cycling event in March this year with Mr S and a couple of friends. It wasn’t easy for me cos the rest of the team has much better stamina than I do lol!! I always came last during our training sesh lol!! Anyway, I was so glad to have completed the whole event that day. Mr S actually slowed down for me and rode alongside with me until I finished the course. ❤

As you probably would know already, we initially planned a trip to Europe this year. And then we found out I was pregnant (on April Fools’ day!!!). I stubbornly insisted that we should go still, despite Mr S seriously being concerned of my wellbeing physically and our wellbeing financially lol! But in the end, the trip was cancelled anyway despite us changing the dates to an earlier date due to some unforeseen circumstances. I’m sure there’s a good reason why the whole Europe trip this year didn’t work out and I won’t question about it. 🙂

Lucky us though, despite not being able to make it to Europe, we managed to visit Bali for the very first time for our babymoon hahaha!!! I know right, I can’t believe I haven’t been to Bali before too considering it’s only a few hours’ flight from Perth to Bali? We had a great time there, although we stayed in Ubud for our entire trip. But our main goal was to have a short and relaxing trip anyway.

Besides Bali, we also got to visit our nephew for the very first time in Melbourne!! It was a special time for us having spent it with Mr S’ brother’s family. We were both showered with so much love and attention throughout our stay. And having bonded with the little one made saying goodbye so much harder. Fingers crossed we will meet again in 2016!

Needless to say, the most important event of the year is clearly giving birth to Naomi and becoming a mother myself, lol!! I must congratulate Mr S on becoming a father too, hahahahaha! I must admit, the days after I found out I was pregnant zoomed past just like that. It’s hard to believe it’s the end of the year again because I feel like we just had our wedding dinner back in Miri like a couple of months ago. But no, it’s already been a year, it’s crazy! o_O

Parenthood is so new to me and to Mr S. And we have so, so, so, so much to learn still (the past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride lol!) But I think it will be the most rewarding thing we will ever have in our lives and I really cannot thank God enough for that.

I am so, so lucky and blessed to have wrapped up year 2015 so perfectly with the company of my loved ones (my mum, brother and sister are with me in Perth!!!) with me and with precious Naomi in our arms.

Goodbye 2015! Hello 2016! I welcome you and the new challenges you have for me!! Help make me a wiser and more confident woman, a gentler and more loving wife, and a strong and nurturing mother.

Counting My Blessings

It’s close to five months into year 2015 now, and it has treated me well so far. God never stopped showering me with His abundant blessings, and I’m so grateful for that!

I had a slight mishap last week when I dropped in my car for a service. The repairman actually reversed my car back into a bollard. -.- Naturally, I felt slightly upset because the car was new and I have been so careful with the car I haven’t done any damage to it myself. But when I come to think of it, I don’t think my day was half as bad as the repairman who did the damage. He must have had an even shittier day than I did. Heck, he might get into trouble with the management I’d say. At least I was loaned a car to use for free until my car is fixed so it wasn’t that bad for me.

The thing is, life had been so smooth sailing for me in the months prior to this little incident. This was probably a gentle reminder that each day of our lives may not necessarily be a good day. But you can make the best of it by focusing on the positive aspects of things.

I guess what I meant to say was this – in life, you’re meant to have several episodes of hiccups for you to appreciate the non-hiccup days even more.

The Big Three-O

30Yours truly turns thirty today!!

Looking back at the last thirty years of my life, I am so happy and contented to be where I am right now; to be surrounded by people who love and care for me – near and far. I have a loving husband (so blessed to be married to my soul-mate) and family, a small but close circle of friends (it’s a shame we don’t all live in the same city though), a home to come home to, a secure job, and not forgetting, a pet dog who probably loves me more than he loves himself. I feel like God has given me so much when I haven’t done much to deserve all this. His grace is always overflowing and I cannot thank Him enough.

Therefore this year, I’d like to make some changes in my life, starting from baby steps. I’d like to contribute more towards others this year – making use of the skills I’ve acquired throughout the years and the talents I’ve been gifted with. The joy of giving is so much more than the joy of receiving!

I pray that now that I’m a year older, I will be wiser intellectually, richer spiritually, healthier physically, and calmer mentally. I pray that I will be kind and gentle – in my words, actions and thoughts. And I also pray that I will continue to be inquisitive in learning and exploring new things. Amen.

Happy birthday Jess!

Bidding 2014 Farewell

Today being the last day of Year 2014, it’s only fair that I write a short blog post about the past year.

March 2014 – Marks the last year of me in my twenties. The Big Three-O is only two months and 2 days away. Time certainly flies!

April/May 2014 – Finally bought my very own first car! Upgraded from my trusty ol’ Jazz, which mum gifted me as a graduation present, to an Odyssey. People tend to think that I’m prepping myself for 5 children in the future.

September 2014 – The biggest event in my life this year is that Mr S and I finally tied the knot after going out for close to seven years! XD What can I say? It feels amazing to be married when you’ve married the right person. ^^’

December 2014 – Spent Christmas back home with my family. ❤ Also had our second wedding reception for our families and friends back home in Miri.

Mr & Mrs S

Year 2014 was definitely smashing for us and we are so grateful and contented!

However, we mustn’t forget about those who have lost their lives/loved ones in the tragic incidents that occurred during the year. To those who haven’t had a good year in 2014, soldier on and face the new year with courageous and fearless hearts.

I’m welcoming Year 2015 with my open arms and I’m excited to see what it has in store for us. 😉